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memento mori's avatar

I write legal briefs, often too wordy, for the court's consideration. ("Brief" being the wrong word, but that is what they are called.) One day, a judge rolled up my 15 page brief into a "telescope", put it up to his right eye and said, "Well, Mr. [Attorney}, I have looked through your brief...."

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Matt Taibbi's avatar

That is an awesome story. Absolutely love that. Am I wrong, or are the judges who aren’t runaway egomaniacs often very funny?

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Jim M's avatar

AB-SO-FREAKIN' LOOTLEY.

I was an undercover (Anti-Crime) cop in da Bronx in the 80's. An arrest oriented slot. I was in court A L O T: Grand Jury, judge trial, jury trial whatever.

This was during the era when Wolfe was serializing Bonfire Of The Vanities in Rolling Stone. (Yeah, be a cop who reads RS...and The Voice...lol...got lots of heat in the squad room back then!)

In his novel, he had a character of a hard ass Bronx Supreme Court judge (in the movie it was Morgan Freeman) . I saw a SHITLOAD of guys like him.

Equal opportunity ragers: didn't matter if it was the prosecutor or the defense, they mocked em all when they were unprepared or droney.

"You DID go to Law School, right, counselor?" was one of the best. Sorry, but it's 40 years ago and there's been a lot of water under the bridge, I can't remember more of that exchange.

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TruthCanHurt23's avatar

Most judges are good writers and editors, at least back in the day when writing (rather than politics) was a key determinant of whether one advanced to the bench.

As one in the sunset of a 40+ year career as a writer/editor/publisher, my favorite rule has always been: "Challenge Every Word." The hope is that by doing so, you may not have to cut 20% in subsequent passes. Note this is easier to do with the type of business writing I've done the past 20+ years, and harder to do when writing news copy, as Matt usually does.

"Challenge Every Word" doesn't refer just to word count, but also (and maybe even more so) to accuracy, and I used to tell my writers to challenge every word because you can be certain that I'll be doing that behind you... and that readers will be doing it behind both of us.

I would further submit that most of us, including Matt, are here because we Challenge Every Word. Matt (and Walter, and Bari, etc.) ultimately fled formerly respectable news organizations because those organizations replaced accuracy challenges with political litmus challenges, and we subscribe to Matt & Bari & the like for the same reason.

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Lisa's avatar

I once asked a judge if it made him nervous putting away a notorious drug dealer. He replied, rather nonchalantly, “When he gets out, he’ll have to stomp on my grave”

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Trevor Williams's avatar

Thanks Matt I tried the short stuff once on the advice of a Pulitzer prize winner. (yes that blew my mind) ITS freaking hard. This practical advice will be followed at Dixieland, going forward. Cheers

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May 30, 2023
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Jim M's avatar

I miss Harry too...

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Barryonthefly's avatar

"I started all over again on page 1, circling the 262 pages like a vulture looking for live flesh to scavenge." ~ John Gregory Dunne

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