Woke Elvis Resigns

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was an overgrown pick-up artist whose humiliating downfall will stand forever as a cautionary tale for men

A number of years ago, I was wearing a beautiful cable knit turtleneck that my wife got me, and had a blazer… I was feeling like I was dressed pretty cool, and a random bunch of guys who didn’t recognize me sort of walked into the hotel and said, “Hey, turtleneck boy!” And I was like, hey, I like this look!

— Justin Trudeau, Chatelaine magazine, 2018

In a move that CNN described as “choosing to jump before he is pushed,” Canadian Prime Minister and feminist heartthrob Justin Trudeau resigned this morning. His departure completes an unprecedented popularity cliff dive, dropping from 65% to an incredible 16% approval rating over the course of a nine-year reign that men will chuckle over, from now through the end of time. Centuries from now, fathers will sit sons on their knees and tell The Fall of Trudeau as a cautionary tale. Turtleneck Boy broke the unwritten law: