"I know readers of this site come for more serious topics."
I cannot imagine how anyone - even if they don't like sports - would rather read more about critical race theory/covid/Trump than this. Plus this was really good advice for any NBA GMs who stumble upon it. The only problem was taking a shot at us poor Sixers fans was unnecessary.
I doubt I stand alone in saying "yes, more less serious stuff like this please!"
Great line "...but there’s nothing you can do to Shawn Bradley to keep his matchups with Shaquille O’Neal from turning into nature show videos."
Excellent writing Matt! No fluff, just grisly meat. Sure I desire your politics/current events stuff, but real life is still the matrix in which politics happens. Or it should be.
In appreciation of your efforts I award you the coveted Key to the Executive Washroom.
I'd love it if the Heat could take him off your hands! He's a great all-around player with amazing ball skills and the Heat need a point man on offense if Dragic/Nunn isn't coming back. Unlike everyone else I'm not obsessed with the 3pt shot; he can create scoring opportunities for himself and others that don't involve him doing something he's not good at. The one thing I find totally unacceptable about Simmons's game is his god-awful free throw %.
Not only did we take Matt's guy, we also used our first round pick on a guy who can defend but is shaky offensively. Basically, yes, this ABSOLUTELY CONFIRMS that Daryl Morey is a subscriber. If you're reading this comment Daryl, good job!
Well sure, curling and badminton here. But how cavalier must your attitude be to dismiss so casually the economic concerns of the purveyors of monocles and monocle accessories? Bowling pants are doing just fine, of course (bellwether of the market!) but *les monocleurs* are hit hard by the price increases of fine polishing grits and a shortage of orphans to polish them!
And do not be so cavalier as to suggest that our new guests from Aztlan could do the work. As if a gentleman would sport a monocle polished by non-orphans.
Oh, as a German, I loved reading this stuff, because none of it makes sense, it's so alien. Like when a friend a few years back tried to explain the rules of cricket to me. His mouth was moving and what came out were English phrases but they just strangely floated past. I love English. You can say things like 'did you see how Porky O'Choux hit a fifty-nine wing-slug from a hard forward and it hit the skillet?' and pretend you're talking knowledgably about some popular ball game.
Real sports fandom is awesome across ethnic and sports lines. I might not know a ton about your sport-but you do and you love it-and that’s a beautiful thing in any culture.
Your point about cricket is certainly well taken. Your sample "cricket nonsense" phrase should have something about a "leg over" and an unorthodox use of "innings" though.
In 1973 my 8th grade class at a tiny Catholic school in Petersburg Virginia was trotted about a mile to a local gym (our school did not have one) so we could watch a high school basketball game in the middle of the day. I turned to friend about half way through and said "That guy Moses Malone is really good!"
Saw him play as a kid, including in person at Game 1 against the Lakers in 1983 championship. He was a true beast. Can't believe we traded him for Jeff Ruland!?
True story-through a bizarre confluence of linkages, I, as a short white dude, acquired the nickname Moses Malone from a friend and it has stuck for over 20 something years!
I have no interest in sports but this was a funny read and you shouldn’t apologize for what you write. Gotta take a break from everyday nonsense. Never ever apologize.
Matt, I'm an old lady and I love you for loving basketball even more than for the giant squid bon mot. A few summers ago, maybe 2013 after falling for Kawhi and all he promised, I was watching a very bad summer league game in New Zealand when the the announcer announced that if one was watching this particular game in summer league, one was a junkie. I'm sure you had better things to do. Keep your lovely mind open and keep writing any old thing you want.
Zion is the ultimate fat-skilled player. He tore out of his damn shoes. This reminds me I don't get too much of an offseason from my addiction. Thanks for the break from politics!
A specialized field -- couldn't care less about NBA.
Total corporate media on Status Coup's Flint crime discovery would be of more interest -- that phones of all big enchiladas involved were ERASED for up-to-three year period -- hence they knew they are poisoning Flint population for YEARS....
But BLM supposedly. Lies after lies at state and local levels...
I understand not liking the amount of politics involved in pro basketball these last view years, but if you honestly think the NBA is “communist” I truly wish you well with the brainrot you’re clearly experiencing.
"I know readers of this site come for more serious topics."
I cannot imagine how anyone - even if they don't like sports - would rather read more about critical race theory/covid/Trump than this. Plus this was really good advice for any NBA GMs who stumble upon it. The only problem was taking a shot at us poor Sixers fans was unnecessary.
I doubt I stand alone in saying "yes, more less serious stuff like this please!"
We Sixers fans deserve it. I'm just hoping for a Ben Simmons trade as part of this draft, as futile as that hope may be.
Great line "...but there’s nothing you can do to Shawn Bradley to keep his matchups with Shaquille O’Neal from turning into nature show videos."
Excellent writing Matt! No fluff, just grisly meat. Sure I desire your politics/current events stuff, but real life is still the matrix in which politics happens. Or it should be.
In appreciation of your efforts I award you the coveted Key to the Executive Washroom.
I'd love it if the Heat could take him off your hands! He's a great all-around player with amazing ball skills and the Heat need a point man on offense if Dragic/Nunn isn't coming back. Unlike everyone else I'm not obsessed with the 3pt shot; he can create scoring opportunities for himself and others that don't involve him doing something he's not good at. The one thing I find totally unacceptable about Simmons's game is his god-awful free throw %.
If you were the Heat GM, what would you give up to get him?
A nice dish of black beans and rice, lol.
It's impossible contract-wise, unless we trade Butler or Adebayo, which is a no-go.
Ya, the Heat really made out getting Butler, and I was happy to see him do well. I wish we had kept him in Philly.
You should ask Butler how he would feel bringing in Simmons.
And I wish the Bulls would have kept
Jimmy in Chicago.
How about Buddy Hield and Marvin Bagley?
Nope. Zero interest but glad others enjoy it
To some, this is more serious than politics. Think of it as hope in humanity via the NBA or NFL draft..."he's going to be the next Tom Brady"...
We did grab Matt's second tier freak, maybe Morey is a subscriber?
Not only did we take Matt's guy, we also used our first round pick on a guy who can defend but is shaky offensively. Basically, yes, this ABSOLUTELY CONFIRMS that Daryl Morey is a subscriber. If you're reading this comment Daryl, good job!
If you're reading this comment, Daryl, FREE HONG KONG!!
I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than sit through an NBA game, but I always loves me a Matt Taibbi column.
Well sure, curling and badminton here. But how cavalier must your attitude be to dismiss so casually the economic concerns of the purveyors of monocles and monocle accessories? Bowling pants are doing just fine, of course (bellwether of the market!) but *les monocleurs* are hit hard by the price increases of fine polishing grits and a shortage of orphans to polish them!
And do not be so cavalier as to suggest that our new guests from Aztlan could do the work. As if a gentleman would sport a monocle polished by non-orphans.
Oh, as a German, I loved reading this stuff, because none of it makes sense, it's so alien. Like when a friend a few years back tried to explain the rules of cricket to me. His mouth was moving and what came out were English phrases but they just strangely floated past. I love English. You can say things like 'did you see how Porky O'Choux hit a fifty-nine wing-slug from a hard forward and it hit the skillet?' and pretend you're talking knowledgably about some popular ball game.
Mrs. E, your comment is gold. Have a great weekend.
For me, your comment was one of the best things about reading Matt's column.
Real sports fandom is awesome across ethnic and sports lines. I might not know a ton about your sport-but you do and you love it-and that’s a beautiful thing in any culture.
Your point about cricket is certainly well taken. Your sample "cricket nonsense" phrase should have something about a "leg over" and an unorthodox use of "innings" though.
This piece was written in a foreign language, but I nevertheless enjoyed the spirited on the edge of madness vibe.
In 1973 my 8th grade class at a tiny Catholic school in Petersburg Virginia was trotted about a mile to a local gym (our school did not have one) so we could watch a high school basketball game in the middle of the day. I turned to friend about half way through and said "That guy Moses Malone is really good!"
I remember Moses said he could win a title with any four guys from Petersburg!
Moses would use his stomach to push guys around. (He also said his Sixer team
Andrew, Maurice, Doc, Bobby Jones could beat any team and he said it after the Jordan years.)
That was maybe the best starting 5 ever, except maybe the Doug Collins, George McGinnis, Darryl Dawkins, Dr. J and World B. Free one.
And I don't mean just Sixers best starting 5, I mean ever, for any team.
Saw him play as a kid, including in person at Game 1 against the Lakers in 1983 championship. He was a true beast. Can't believe we traded him for Jeff Ruland!?
True story-through a bizarre confluence of linkages, I, as a short white dude, acquired the nickname Moses Malone from a friend and it has stuck for over 20 something years!
Basketball is very exciting. The men throw the ball and sometimes it goes into the hoop and that's very exciting.
Gotta love your “pick whichever player Skip Bayless thinks is a bust” rule!
Never apologize for what you write. If anyone gives you shit, let me know. This is America, you write what you want! Great piece.
You are taking a lot of heat for this piece in the comments BUT I FREAKING LOVE IT. MEGA SLEEPER ARTICLE
I have no interest in sports but this was a funny read and you shouldn’t apologize for what you write. Gotta take a break from everyday nonsense. Never ever apologize.
Matt, I'm an old lady and I love you for loving basketball even more than for the giant squid bon mot. A few summers ago, maybe 2013 after falling for Kawhi and all he promised, I was watching a very bad summer league game in New Zealand when the the announcer announced that if one was watching this particular game in summer league, one was a junkie. I'm sure you had better things to do. Keep your lovely mind open and keep writing any old thing you want.
Matt, any thought of covering the NBA draft live with your Useful Idiots partner in crime. I'd watch that over ESPN coverage in a heartbeat.
Zion is the ultimate fat-skilled player. He tore out of his damn shoes. This reminds me I don't get too much of an offseason from my addiction. Thanks for the break from politics!
A specialized field -- couldn't care less about NBA.
Total corporate media on Status Coup's Flint crime discovery would be of more interest -- that phones of all big enchiladas involved were ERASED for up-to-three year period -- hence they knew they are poisoning Flint population for YEARS....
But BLM supposedly. Lies after lies at state and local levels...
Another time Boris, another time for this ;)
OK -- I would add the persecution of Daniel Hale - for Obama's drone crimes...
The NBA's support of communism v. liberty and SJW messaging does suck, but your article was funny/insightful and a blessing to the basketball lover
I understand not liking the amount of politics involved in pro basketball these last view years, but if you honestly think the NBA is “communist” I truly wish you well with the brainrot you’re clearly experiencing.
How about “Sino-fascist”………..
More Sinophilic than anything. As Willie Sutton said, that's where the money is.
I like everything you write.