Official Vice Presidential Debate Drinking Game Rules

Helping America deaden the blow of what's likely to be a very heavy dose of stupid. Rules for tonight's Tim Walz-J.D. Vance folksy-off

The first (and only) vice presidential debate between J.D. Vance and Tim Walz is just hours away. As you can imagine, Walter Kirn and I are eager to see the candidates engage in what’s sure to be a substantive exchange of ideas, which is why we’re doing another drinking game. The last game got a little out of hand, so we’re paring things down. You know: drink smart, not hard.

We’re kicking off our live commentary at 8:45 PM ET. To join us:

The rules:

DRINK EVERY TIME…

1. Walz mentions Project 2025.

2. Vance questions Walz’s military record.

3. Anyone says “Proud of my service.”

4. Vance accuses Walz of favoring socialism or having ties to the Chinese Communist Party.

5. Walz accuses Vance of fomenting anti-Haitian bigotry.

6. Vance mentions a colorful family member. Double if the relative is armed or high or both.

7. Walz brings up January 6th or claims democracy is on the ballot.

8. Vance brings up the Minneapolis riots.

9. Either candidate mentions the middle class or the working class. (Do not do shots of hard alcohol for this rule.)

10. Either candidate uses folksy rhetoric or Midwestern slang, or the word “folks” is uttered, at all.

11. Anyone says, “Right here in New York City.”

12. Either candidate mentions Hurricane Helene or the situation in Asheville, North Carolina.

13. Either candidate accuses the other of being insufficiently protective of Israel or Ukraine.

14. A moderator fact-checks either candidate.

15. You feel like driving off a cliff in despair.

See you tonight.