Start your livers.
How many shots for "C'mon man!"?
I'm not watching the convention because I'm already bored and angry enough on a daily basis as it is. But for those that are watching: is there any reason to assume Biden's speech is actually going to be live? If I was managing his campaign, there's no chance it would be.
I think my local liquor store is going to start to judge me if I participate in these. I previously posted a hypothetical Biden rant in a previous article, which I'll expand on below. Like Matt said, back to business after this so I'll indulge now. "Are you on crack, Jack?! Let me tell you something. I was vice president under, you know...that guy. And guess what, I picked Kam...Kar...Camille for VP because she's just as articulate, even for a black lady. So cut the smack, fat! This is the most historic moment in world history, like when the Normans stormed the beach at Pearl Harbor. So get off your keister on selection sunday and vote for me for senate!"
My tolerance is about thirty seconds; something, synapses, snap. Maybe it's the smarmy contempt for intelligence, as if we're trained seals. Last night I didn't try at all. Are they mentioning oh I don't know, the trashing of Seattle and Portland, the festival of violent crime in NYC, the attacks on speech, running the head of police out of Seattle, Rutgers cancelling the teaching of English grammar . . I'll take glancingly. Is the subtext that none of this exists?
Taibbi has given us a reason to watch and pay attention.
I love this non-grownup content Matt, everybody needs a little levity right now.
Matt, I think you missed "challenges someone to a push-up contest" or to "a round of fisticuffs".
I'm fine with sophomoric humor when the 'top' politicians have not themselves moved beyond high school social dynamics. Matt, reserve grown up content for people and issues that actually deserve it. Looking forward to tonight's Mystery Science Theater treatment of the DNC!
This is going to kill you. Eat a big plate of pasta a couple hours ahead of the speech tonight. It just might save your life.
You are conspicuously fiddling while the US burns. (Not that I can bear watching any of that stuff from either party at this stage of my life. If I were required to do so (are you?) I might try some of your shenanigans to stay with it.) But other than such necessity, I think it's stupid and vile to be playing drinking games while the president is sabotaging the post office so we won't be able to vote properly in the upcoming election. Or don't you care?
I think it's far out that Biden is bringing back "malarkey."
This platform is INSANE
Tare down Border wall, abolish ICE, E-Verify: Where 2020 Democrats
Stop Deportations on DAY 1:
End Migrant Detention If Elected
Let them walk into the US.
Amnesty for illegal immigrants
Abolish "Public Charge Law"
Give all unauthorized and authorized immigrants WELFARE
Biden thinks this is a Trump Rule when it's actually a LAW. The Immigration and Nationality Act (INA) was enacted in 1952 BY Congress.
Watching the Political grandstanding since 2015 is like seeing a procession of all the worst things a gynecologist has ever seen.
NO MALARKEY!!! hahaha
You forgot Beau. Yes, it's a tragedy that should not be joked about but it is disturbing to me that he finds a need to continually bring this up during a campaign. Both him and his wife.
Jesus Christ, Matt. That list would destroy all of Larry Hagman's livers at once.
My cognitive function would be at the same level as Biden’s sober, after 5 minutes.
Taibbi lived in Russia for a long time, he should explain how drinking is done by professionals-and I say this as someone with a proud Ukrainian heritage, with the family drinking stories to prove it!