Jim Comey's Hip New Media Tour

The man who was Director when the FBI's reputation began a steep national nosedive resurfaces for a TV makeover

I’ve seen softball interviews and shameless on-air dissembling before, but I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anything like the quadruplicate tongue bath laid on unrepentant former FBI chief James Comey yesterday by Willie Geist, Jon Lemire, Katty Kay, and Eugene Robinson on Morning Joe.

Comey came on set dressed in a sheer black jumper that recalled an Austin Powers extra or the after-hours garb of Arthur Miller or Saul Bellow, signaling his new persona as the author of a mystery novel called Central Park West.

I bought this book, which chronicles the adventures of crackerjack Hoboken-based federal prosecutor Nora Carleton. Recreation-wise, reading Jim Comey channeling a female protagonist is somewhere between a tooth cleaning and watching a fawn die on the side of the road (“This is so fucking hard, she thought. School loans, no life, no sleep…”). It’s neither a crime nor unexpected, but Comey sucks donkey balls as a writer. If I decided tomorrow to write detective novels, you’d see my first effort — in the highly unlikely event someone published it — would be terrible too. Famous politicians and scary law enforcement officials like Comey, however, not only get instant wide release, they enjoy a craven ritual in which real detective writers line up to tell them how brilliant their debuts are.

“A nonstop thrill ride!” gushed Jeffery Deaver. Colleagues agreed: