America This Week, September 25-October 1

America sings "It wasn't me!" after pipeline blasts, panic-suckhole engulfs markets, Chess rocked by kinky cheating scandal, NATO hedges, Putin trolls Bush, three scary finance headlines, and more

Welcome back to America This Week, the news wrap-up where we won’t lie to you about it, and may even laugh, when civilization heads for collapse! It wasn’t quite as bad as all that this week, though there was definitely an apocalyptic quality to some of the headlines, particularly if you happened to be a marine animal in the Baltic Sea. Other developments included a historic hurricane, financial terror, and a heightened threat of World War.

Remember, to hear author Walter Kirn and I discuss the week’s headlines in podcast form, click here for this week’s episode of America This Week.

It wasn’t all bad, though, as there were some laughs. See for instance the “Chevron Test” below. As for the rest, brace yourself for this week’s dispatches of mostly-doom from the front lines of our disintegrating species: